Tue 27th Dec 2011
*****************
Well I dragged myself to Guildford town centre, but after yesterday I do feel rather deflated and discouraged. I know logically that the right thing to do is to keep going, in a "don't let the bastards get you down" kind of way, but I am not in a good frame of mind, and I don't think I'm going to get any good results today.
But I know I don't have a choice in the matter; there's no way I'm going to let "them" win.
First into one of the shopping centres. Full of girls, but so many are young, and I think a lot of them are under 16.
Jailbait. I keep walking.
Everyone is so energetic, but I seem to be lacking any energy. I only slept for 4 hours last night, so I think my encounter with the police must have shaken me.
Into a second shopping centre. The same problem. I walked into a clothes shop and saw some women there who looked nice. But I just didn't have the heart to go up to them.
I sat down in a cafe, bottle of diet coke in hand. I was able to make small talk with a nice girl sat opposite me, but nothing came of it. I had used an indirect approach.
I meandered through the shops and side streets of the town, achieving nothing.
Until I arrived at Waterstones, and a nice young blonde upstairs. "I think you should buy that book" I suggested. "Why?" she beamed, with a smile, "have you read it?"
The conversation progressed, and it felt good. Upon finding that she had just finished her "A" levels (which is good - she's in-age) I tried to guess which ones she had passed. Got 2 out of 3 right (with the wrong one being religious studies).
Then I moved on to what she liked doing in her spare time. Gym and working in a shop up the road. At that point I felt my voice falter. Nerves. And she must have picked this up because she suddenly said she had to go as her boyfriend was waiting for her.
Notice how I had not used a direct approach here; she was fine and all mine while I was confident. But the minute I lost that confidence I lost her.
Still she was a bit young... How do I pick'em?
Am a bit tired so retreated to the "Tea Terrace" restaurant at the top of the big "House of Fraser" department store.
I'll be "working the floors" in a short while, after I've polished a most delicious Steak sandwich with french fries...
Wed 28th Dec 2011
*****************
Well nothing came of "working the floors" at Guildford's House of Fraser, but the following day in Brighton I did manage to approach a group of three girls sat at a table in a pub near the sea front. This was my first attempt at "night game" for a few days, and I think I came across as really nervous. For a second I think they liked me, but I just could not gain my confidence, so I (and in fact one of the girls) left after a few moments.
well at least I can be sure they won't be putting in a complaint about me, because they did smile when I delivered my direct approach.
As I type it is Thursday evening, and for the second day I have been tired all day in the office. The stress of the "shopping centre incident" as we shall call it has been telling upon me despite my best efforts to put it to sleep. And as a result I have not been sleeping well.
I swear that police officers have been taught subliminal intimidation techniques.
But despite that I was able to approach one pair of girls in a pub in Islington, North East London, but although I did get a smile it lasted for a very short amount of time before it was replaced by a frown and heads turned away to continue a spirited conversation. Perhaps they were discussing something important. Like X-factor or the latest episode of TOWIE.
Then into the Weatherspoons next door, another glass of free tap water in hand, and say Hi to a nice shy-looking girl on her own.
"My friend is coming over with our drinks in a moment" She replied. I back off.
But I had considerably more success with two London lasses called Leah and Maria. Fortunately one of them was not called "Tia" or I would have suspected I was being made fun of.
I got past the hook point with them, with a purely indirect approach, having opened with a recommended pitch "I bet you girls are complaining about men again aren't you?"
There was no sexual vibe at all, but there was some "social" chemistry, and I was heartened by the fact that there was some warmth in the conversation, despite my nervousness there.
I decided to leave before being pushed, as I am working in the area, and have to regard this as being a "local" pub to me. They could introduce me to their friends who knows... :)
So I seem to be on the mend after the unfortunate incident at the start of the week.
Looking back on it, I'm in many ways glad that I over-cooked it then. This is because in the past all the criticism of my performance with women has come from inside me. My own self-doubt and caution. So it is in a strange way exhilerating to be in a situation whereby I am doing too much, and it is other people who are "having a go".
In addition facing the type of mocking, sarcastic, and arrogant rejection from some of the women at the weekend, but having the balls to carry on with it and push through their barriers, showed that I was no longer intimidated by their negative mindsets and shallow outlook on life.
This is Basingstoke. A low-life, dull, septic, rancid London-overspill of a town that is so bereft of self esteem that it captures any positive light of ambition or initiative displayed by a person like me, and grinds it down into the mud.
I should stay away from Basingstoke. But I think that once I get better at day-game I'll give it another try.
I won't be expecting anything positive then either!
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Monday, 26 December 2011
Basingstoke town centre: Festival Place
First I approached a very nice blonde outside Marks and Spencers. Same line, that she was a very attractive girl, and had she had a nice christmas? Silence. "Did you get any good presents" I continued... Finally she said that she got the mufflers (or something like that) that she was wearing on her feet. "Me I'm just looking for some new trousers" I replied.Awkward silence.
"You do realise I'm only 17" she continued.
Er hmm, I thought. A 17 year old is legal in the United Kingdom (the age of consent being 16), but I know that some people aren't happy with guys carrying on with anyone under 18. This isn't good.
"Do you have a boyfriend" I blurted out
"No" she replied. Damn, I thought to myself, you're not supposed to ask them whether they have a boyfriend - it's a sign of weakness!
For this reason, and the reason of her age, I said nice to have met you, and walked off.
Another three women in Primark discount store near the station. Nothing spectacular here, but one woman just walked off (before I saw the ring on her finger).
Into a stationary shop. Straight out again as I recognise someone who's a friend of my friend's girlfriend. Did that make sense?
Then down to the new section of the shopping centre, and into the Apple store. A beautiful peach of a women. Late 20's and stunning. "You really are a most beautiful woman" I exclaimed, in a low voice. She smiled, blushed, looked down, turned around, and walked off. Hmmm a bit rude, but never mind.
Upon walking back out of the shop a few minutes later I saw her again - standing next to her boyfriend. Ah that would be why then.
Outside of the apple store, and onto the main concourse, and there was a plain 21 year old. A bit tubby and plain, but no problem for a chat.
"I had to come over to talk because you are so good looking" I lied. No hook point, and I was quite glad when her friend came out of a shop and whisked her away..
Then into BHS where I approached two ladies eating some snacks in the BHS canteen. "What brings two attractive young ladies into a place like this?" I opened with.
They replied "what's wrong with this place" so I replied that actually this is not such a bad place at all.
I didn't progress the conversation because I began to suspect that it was a mother and daughter, and I'm not too keen on the dynamics of that situation (they were both over 18). So I asked them whether they had had a nice Christmas, and then changed the subject asking they whether the canteen was still open, as I needed to get a drink. They said yes they think it was, so I left to grab a diet coke.
On purchasing the coke I had a very nice bit of banter (completely non relationship stuff) with the older lady serving, and then I was off into the main BHS store.
Around the corner was a nice girl hanging up some clothes so I said she was very attractive. "Thanks" she replied.
"oh but do you work here?"
"Yes" she replied.
"Oh" I replied, "I was only looking to chat up customers not staff".
She looked a little crestfallen. I realised I had probably made a slight mistake, and tried to back-peddle. But I realised this one was probably no good, so I left the store. It's a numbers game, so there is no point in trying too hard with a single woman; also a good idea to try to avoid "oneitis" as well.
I should remind readers of this blog that I am trying to only chat up members of the public, not staff, because staff have a duty to be nice to people, and that might give me false confidence in what I am doing.
I sat down on some chairs outside the store.
A few minutes later a security guard came up to me and asked whether I had been into BHS asking a lady whether she was in a relationship. I said yes I think I did, and I've been trying to chat up women all afternoon.
He said that she complained to the centre that it freaked her out a bit.
Oops!
I replied that it wasn't my intention to freak her out.
He said that I should stop doing this, and that he didn't want that kind of activity in the centre.
I said that it wasn't my intention to freak her out, and that I was doing a course in how to chat up women.
Damn I knew that might happen!
Or at least my negative thought-patterns in my head had predicted it.
The way I'm thinking about this is that the woman who made the complaint was not wholly correct. I hadn't asked her whether she was in a relationship. And I was wrong to have confirmed this. She seemed to be foreign, and I think she perhaps was not used to a culture whereby guys can go up to her and try to chat her up.
Also I suspect she fancied me, without realising it, and was angered that I walked away as I did.
But what she didn't know was that my mission was not to chat her up, but rather to deal with my approach anxiety.
I think I was just unlucky, because there is nothing inherently freaky or wrong about my approach. Or is there??
But for the rest of the day (it is 17:25 as I type) I'll avoid the cameras of the shopping centre by only chatting to women inside shops. They'll be watching me...
18:10pm: Well I guess I should be glad that I'm not typing this from the inside of a police cell. For what happened next is that they did track me as I walked into my next stop, Waterstones bookshop.
After finding no women in there at all, I decided to chat to the girl serving behind the counter. A very nice 21 year old, studying media studies at a university, she said. Yes I know she was staff, but I was determined to keep my confidence up after that criticism by the centre guy.
I broke off the chat when her (male) assistant turned up.
A minute later two police officers came in and asked to speak to me. They said they had had reports of a man harrassing a number of women in the shopping centre during the afternoon, and that he had just been seen walking into this shop.
What the #!*$%?
I replied that I had certainly been chatting up a number of women, but not harrassing them.
I stated that I was aware of one complaint because a member of centre staff had approached me a quarter of an hour ago about it.
"Have you had several complaints" I asked.
"Well I'm not sure" they replied, "the shopping centre just said that there had been complaints from shoppers" before correcting himself to say that there might only have been one, and that things might have been lost in translation.
Anyway they checked my ID, and suggested that Boxing day afternoon might not be the best time to chat to women in this way. What's wrong with boxing day I asked, but didn't get a response.
I confirmed with them that was not committing an offence, and told them that I would continue to chat to women in this fashion, but that I would take extra care not to upset them.
(although the reality is that I don't know what I did wrong here, but hey ho), and they left me in peace.
But not until after I'd treated them to a 5-minute lecture on the seduction methods of Richard La Ruina, puatraining.com, day game, night game, and overcoming approach anxiety (AA). I'm sure he'd love that kind of publicity (not!).
And the female officer was a bit of a babe.. Though I thought it better not to tell her this.
As I followed the police officers out of the shop, they shook hands with one of the male members of staff. I put my hand out as well, but he wouldn't shake mine!
lol
In summary, I will have to have a careful think about all this, because I don't understand how the guys in youtube sites like "simplepickup" can get away with doing what I did, indeed going much further on some occasions with insertions of sexual references to the conversation as well, without complaint at all.
I'm going to stay away from Basingstoke for a few weeks, but there are plenty of other places that remain available. I need to keep going because I don't want this to dent my confidence. Just because there are a few stuck-up old crusties in Basingstoke town centre management does not mean that it is right that I should be deflected from my task here.
Guildford town centre will receive my introductions tomorrow, and this time I'm going to try to extend the conversations a little, and try to get some numbers.
Guildford is in a different police force area to Basingstoke :-)
"You do realise I'm only 17" she continued.
Er hmm, I thought. A 17 year old is legal in the United Kingdom (the age of consent being 16), but I know that some people aren't happy with guys carrying on with anyone under 18. This isn't good.
"Do you have a boyfriend" I blurted out
"No" she replied. Damn, I thought to myself, you're not supposed to ask them whether they have a boyfriend - it's a sign of weakness!
For this reason, and the reason of her age, I said nice to have met you, and walked off.
Another three women in Primark discount store near the station. Nothing spectacular here, but one woman just walked off (before I saw the ring on her finger).
Into a stationary shop. Straight out again as I recognise someone who's a friend of my friend's girlfriend. Did that make sense?
Then down to the new section of the shopping centre, and into the Apple store. A beautiful peach of a women. Late 20's and stunning. "You really are a most beautiful woman" I exclaimed, in a low voice. She smiled, blushed, looked down, turned around, and walked off. Hmmm a bit rude, but never mind.
Upon walking back out of the shop a few minutes later I saw her again - standing next to her boyfriend. Ah that would be why then.
Outside of the apple store, and onto the main concourse, and there was a plain 21 year old. A bit tubby and plain, but no problem for a chat.
"I had to come over to talk because you are so good looking" I lied. No hook point, and I was quite glad when her friend came out of a shop and whisked her away..
Then into BHS where I approached two ladies eating some snacks in the BHS canteen. "What brings two attractive young ladies into a place like this?" I opened with.
They replied "what's wrong with this place" so I replied that actually this is not such a bad place at all.
I didn't progress the conversation because I began to suspect that it was a mother and daughter, and I'm not too keen on the dynamics of that situation (they were both over 18). So I asked them whether they had had a nice Christmas, and then changed the subject asking they whether the canteen was still open, as I needed to get a drink. They said yes they think it was, so I left to grab a diet coke.
On purchasing the coke I had a very nice bit of banter (completely non relationship stuff) with the older lady serving, and then I was off into the main BHS store.
Around the corner was a nice girl hanging up some clothes so I said she was very attractive. "Thanks" she replied.
"oh but do you work here?"
"Yes" she replied.
"Oh" I replied, "I was only looking to chat up customers not staff".
She looked a little crestfallen. I realised I had probably made a slight mistake, and tried to back-peddle. But I realised this one was probably no good, so I left the store. It's a numbers game, so there is no point in trying too hard with a single woman; also a good idea to try to avoid "oneitis" as well.
I should remind readers of this blog that I am trying to only chat up members of the public, not staff, because staff have a duty to be nice to people, and that might give me false confidence in what I am doing.
I sat down on some chairs outside the store.
A few minutes later a security guard came up to me and asked whether I had been into BHS asking a lady whether she was in a relationship. I said yes I think I did, and I've been trying to chat up women all afternoon.
He said that she complained to the centre that it freaked her out a bit.
Oops!
I replied that it wasn't my intention to freak her out.
He said that I should stop doing this, and that he didn't want that kind of activity in the centre.
I said that it wasn't my intention to freak her out, and that I was doing a course in how to chat up women.
Damn I knew that might happen!
Or at least my negative thought-patterns in my head had predicted it.
The way I'm thinking about this is that the woman who made the complaint was not wholly correct. I hadn't asked her whether she was in a relationship. And I was wrong to have confirmed this. She seemed to be foreign, and I think she perhaps was not used to a culture whereby guys can go up to her and try to chat her up.
Also I suspect she fancied me, without realising it, and was angered that I walked away as I did.
But what she didn't know was that my mission was not to chat her up, but rather to deal with my approach anxiety.
I think I was just unlucky, because there is nothing inherently freaky or wrong about my approach. Or is there??
But for the rest of the day (it is 17:25 as I type) I'll avoid the cameras of the shopping centre by only chatting to women inside shops. They'll be watching me...
18:10pm: Well I guess I should be glad that I'm not typing this from the inside of a police cell. For what happened next is that they did track me as I walked into my next stop, Waterstones bookshop.
After finding no women in there at all, I decided to chat to the girl serving behind the counter. A very nice 21 year old, studying media studies at a university, she said. Yes I know she was staff, but I was determined to keep my confidence up after that criticism by the centre guy.
I broke off the chat when her (male) assistant turned up.
A minute later two police officers came in and asked to speak to me. They said they had had reports of a man harrassing a number of women in the shopping centre during the afternoon, and that he had just been seen walking into this shop.
What the #!*$%?
I replied that I had certainly been chatting up a number of women, but not harrassing them.
I stated that I was aware of one complaint because a member of centre staff had approached me a quarter of an hour ago about it.
"Have you had several complaints" I asked.
"Well I'm not sure" they replied, "the shopping centre just said that there had been complaints from shoppers" before correcting himself to say that there might only have been one, and that things might have been lost in translation.
Anyway they checked my ID, and suggested that Boxing day afternoon might not be the best time to chat to women in this way. What's wrong with boxing day I asked, but didn't get a response.
I confirmed with them that was not committing an offence, and told them that I would continue to chat to women in this fashion, but that I would take extra care not to upset them.
(although the reality is that I don't know what I did wrong here, but hey ho), and they left me in peace.
But not until after I'd treated them to a 5-minute lecture on the seduction methods of Richard La Ruina, puatraining.com, day game, night game, and overcoming approach anxiety (AA). I'm sure he'd love that kind of publicity (not!).
And the female officer was a bit of a babe.. Though I thought it better not to tell her this.
As I followed the police officers out of the shop, they shook hands with one of the male members of staff. I put my hand out as well, but he wouldn't shake mine!
lol
In summary, I will have to have a careful think about all this, because I don't understand how the guys in youtube sites like "simplepickup" can get away with doing what I did, indeed going much further on some occasions with insertions of sexual references to the conversation as well, without complaint at all.
I'm going to stay away from Basingstoke for a few weeks, but there are plenty of other places that remain available. I need to keep going because I don't want this to dent my confidence. Just because there are a few stuck-up old crusties in Basingstoke town centre management does not mean that it is right that I should be deflected from my task here.
Guildford town centre will receive my introductions tomorrow, and this time I'm going to try to extend the conversations a little, and try to get some numbers.
Guildford is in a different police force area to Basingstoke :-)
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Sunday 25th December 2011
Victoria Station
****************
Well I never got the chance to talk to the barmaid because some overweight lump got in there first, and spent half an hour chatting to her before leaving on his own.
Then she spent the next 10 minutes talking to the Maitre'd before clocking off shift. I would have tried to get in there, but black's rook was threatening my e-f-g- pawn structure from the rear, and I had to fight it with my knight and king.
But never mind, today it's Christmas day, and that means I'm a little bit pissed. It's time to continue with the events from last week.
Which means Victoria station.
I only approached two girls there this week, one of whom I did get past the hook point, but she terminated the conversation when she said she had to get her train to Eastbourne. I refrained from asking her whether she was going to Beachy Head to toss herself off, as I might have been in trouble in more ways than one I fear...
With the second girl I was mega-nervous because I tried some "direct game" on her.
"Hi, I always like to take the chance to talk to attractive girls such as yourself" I offered.
Silence.
"How are you?" I tried again.
"Not too bad thanks" she replied, rather neutrally.
Silence - in this case totally on my side.
More silence.
And then she left with a comment "see you, I've got a train to catch!"
Damn why do all these girls live so far away?"
(then I remembered I was at Victoria station dumbo).
Happy Christmas everyone! (well unless it'd the middle of June when you're reading this. Or if this is being read out in a magistrates court as prosecution evidence on a harrasment case I'm facing, in which case please say "Hi fishface" to the presiding judge would you...).
****************
Well I never got the chance to talk to the barmaid because some overweight lump got in there first, and spent half an hour chatting to her before leaving on his own.
Then she spent the next 10 minutes talking to the Maitre'd before clocking off shift. I would have tried to get in there, but black's rook was threatening my e-f-g- pawn structure from the rear, and I had to fight it with my knight and king.
But never mind, today it's Christmas day, and that means I'm a little bit pissed. It's time to continue with the events from last week.
Which means Victoria station.
I only approached two girls there this week, one of whom I did get past the hook point, but she terminated the conversation when she said she had to get her train to Eastbourne. I refrained from asking her whether she was going to Beachy Head to toss herself off, as I might have been in trouble in more ways than one I fear...
With the second girl I was mega-nervous because I tried some "direct game" on her.
"Hi, I always like to take the chance to talk to attractive girls such as yourself" I offered.
Silence.
"How are you?" I tried again.
"Not too bad thanks" she replied, rather neutrally.
Silence - in this case totally on my side.
More silence.
And then she left with a comment "see you, I've got a train to catch!"
Damn why do all these girls live so far away?"
(then I remembered I was at Victoria station dumbo).
Happy Christmas everyone! (well unless it'd the middle of June when you're reading this. Or if this is being read out in a magistrates court as prosecution evidence on a harrasment case I'm facing, in which case please say "Hi fishface" to the presiding judge would you...).
Monday, 19 December 2011
Sunday evening 18th December 2011
Upper Halliford station in Surrey. Waiting for train to Waterloo, and there was a girl standing there.
Can't remember what I said at first, and she was rather cold with me. But when I started banging on she started warming up a little.
But I think she was a little afraid as it was a fairly cold and deserted platform.
When I stopped talking she walked off towards the only other person on the platform. I didn't follow her.
Next one was a girl on the train with some bags. Very easy to talk to. "Have you finished your christmas shopping" but the whole thing was foiled with a "Yes. I'm taking the presents down to my fiance on the south coast". Ah well, at least I was able to tell her which platform she had to switch to at clapham junction to get the Eastbourne train. (Number 13)
Mind you I think it would have been better if I had not mentioned "suicide spot" when she said she lived near Beachy Head there. Not exactly conducive to effective chatup I don't think. Unless you are into necrophilia or self harm fetishes perhaps...
Into Waterloo and I decided to go straight to Leicester Square. While I didn't expect to find Mr De Ruina controlling the streets it did nontheless make me wonder whether if I annoyed enough women there it might cast a less than favourable effect upon any "day game" exercise he might be trying to teach.
It was really too cold to chat to anyone outside, so my first port of call was the new "M&M's world".
Whilst it was fairly easy to avoid the hoardes of children and teenagers in there, the women all seemed to be in a hurry. And French.
The first group of girls I tried to open only spoke french. And the second group showed no interest.
Then I said "Hey" to a fairly plain looking girl, and there was no doubt that she heard me. But she completely blanked me, the rude cow.
"Have you bought your christmas presents?"
She gave a one-word answer, and I walked away.
Then was a pair of chinese girls "Are you on holiday here in London"
I had to repeat this as they did not hear.
"No!" she hissed, before walking off rather annoyed.
I don't care any more.
I did one more girl in there, before starting to suspect security guards were on to me, so I left and walked into:
The Trocadero
*************
I just suck my head into here. How it has gone downhill in recent years.
But I got into a 5-minute conversation with a french nursing student, which was nice. But her friend seemed to not like me.
I got their names from them, and talked to the first one about how nursing must give you a tremendous sense of satisfaction at making peoples' lives better.
I left only because I ran out of things to say, and because of the friend.
Am a little tired now, and have retreated to the Thistle hotel to recharge my batteries, and those of my netbook and mobile phone.
At the bar is a nice girl, and when I looked back at her after starting to type this update she smiled at me!
Wow I think I'll go and chat to her in a moment, staff or no staff.
Can't remember what I said at first, and she was rather cold with me. But when I started banging on she started warming up a little.
But I think she was a little afraid as it was a fairly cold and deserted platform.
When I stopped talking she walked off towards the only other person on the platform. I didn't follow her.
Next one was a girl on the train with some bags. Very easy to talk to. "Have you finished your christmas shopping" but the whole thing was foiled with a "Yes. I'm taking the presents down to my fiance on the south coast". Ah well, at least I was able to tell her which platform she had to switch to at clapham junction to get the Eastbourne train. (Number 13)
Mind you I think it would have been better if I had not mentioned "suicide spot" when she said she lived near Beachy Head there. Not exactly conducive to effective chatup I don't think. Unless you are into necrophilia or self harm fetishes perhaps...
Into Waterloo and I decided to go straight to Leicester Square. While I didn't expect to find Mr De Ruina controlling the streets it did nontheless make me wonder whether if I annoyed enough women there it might cast a less than favourable effect upon any "day game" exercise he might be trying to teach.
It was really too cold to chat to anyone outside, so my first port of call was the new "M&M's world".
Whilst it was fairly easy to avoid the hoardes of children and teenagers in there, the women all seemed to be in a hurry. And French.
The first group of girls I tried to open only spoke french. And the second group showed no interest.
Then I said "Hey" to a fairly plain looking girl, and there was no doubt that she heard me. But she completely blanked me, the rude cow.
"Have you bought your christmas presents?"
She gave a one-word answer, and I walked away.
Then was a pair of chinese girls "Are you on holiday here in London"
I had to repeat this as they did not hear.
"No!" she hissed, before walking off rather annoyed.
I don't care any more.
I did one more girl in there, before starting to suspect security guards were on to me, so I left and walked into:
The Trocadero
*************
I just suck my head into here. How it has gone downhill in recent years.
But I got into a 5-minute conversation with a french nursing student, which was nice. But her friend seemed to not like me.
I got their names from them, and talked to the first one about how nursing must give you a tremendous sense of satisfaction at making peoples' lives better.
I left only because I ran out of things to say, and because of the friend.
Am a little tired now, and have retreated to the Thistle hotel to recharge my batteries, and those of my netbook and mobile phone.
At the bar is a nice girl, and when I looked back at her after starting to type this update she smiled at me!
Wow I think I'll go and chat to her in a moment, staff or no staff.
Saturday, 17 December 2011
Sat 17th Dec 2011
Walking towards Basingstoke station, I said "hey" to a girl. I think she heard it, but didn't reply.
On the train to Southampton I re-read the section about "opening". I feel that the people opposite me have noticed the title of the book, and desparately want to engage me in conversation, probably to tell me that I should ignore all this guff and just "be myself".
I carried on reading, and decided today's opener would be: "What do you think I should get my mum for christmas"
Walking up the hill from Southampton railway station to the town I approached two females with that opener. Turned out it was a mother and daughter. The mother launched into a spiele about how I should buy smellies, but on saying that she is 70 she said no.
A book about Ian Botham was her conclusion. A beefy reply..
Said "hey" to a girl walking down the hill as I walked up. She seemed to wake up slightly, and carried on walking down the hill.
Then a second girl, who didn't hear me.
Then I walked up to a 30-year old Indian lady standing alone in the middle of the shopping centre, and said "Hey" "I'm looking for a christmas present for my mother. What would you recommend?". But she replied "I'm waiting for my father, he will meet me here. Sorry".
Maybe she thought I thought she was a shop assistant..
In John Lewis again. OK I found it terrible last time, but I need to buy some christmas presents for the family.
Next to the funny necklaces section there was a quiet looking girl who looked quite nice. When I first saw her I thought she had been looking at me, but she looked away sharpishly.
I went up to talk to her, and after saying hello asked her about the presents for my mum. She recommended one of the necklaces with stones, and then I said well I'm thinking something involving cricket. She again pressed me on the stones necklaces, but by this time I was worried that I would get pressed by her to buy the stoney necklace, when I really wanted a cricket-based present like the lady earlier on had suggested. Hmmm.
I felt this girl quite liked me, but when I started banging on about getting a cricket based present she must have felt uncomfortable at my apparent initial interest in necklaces suddenly changing to cricket.
I also hesitated during a sentance - she was a hot girl, but in a geeky kind of way. Nice.
But after that hesitation I think she realised my lack of confidence, and I noticed her attitude towards me changed for the worse. I thanked her and left.
The lesson to learn here is never mix business (the buying of presents) with pleasure (trying to chat her up).
Next was waiting on the London-bound platform at Southampton, and there was a black girl standing close to the edge.
I felt her body language was not so good, but nevertheless I summoned up the courage to approach her.
"Have you finished your christmas shopping" I enquired. "Yes" she said happily.
A little flummoxed, I asked her whether she was going to London. "No, to Basingstoke" she replied. "But I have to change at Winchester because this train doesn't stop at Basingstoke"
Now this threw me, because I was also going to Basingstoke, and didn't know this. So she actually helped me out by avoiding an unnecessary trip to Woking, 25 miles to the east, together with a risk of paying an excess fare.
Cool, I replied.
"Where are you going" she asked. "I'm going to Basingstoke as well", before explaining that I had asked her whether she was going to London because that is where most people would be going, I guess.
Now I reckon she's thinking I'm a stalker, following her to Basingstoke.
I walked away after a lull in the conversation.
I followed her on to the train, sat down near her, but not next to her.
Then I followed her off the train at Winchester, and stood near her where she sat on the platform seats, and then onto the next train. I sat next to her this time, and re-introduced myself.
She looked moderately pleased to see me.
I think I reached the hook point with her, but all the conversation was initiated by me, not her. There were long periods of silence where I couldn't think of what to say, and resorted at one point to asking her whether she was any good at chess (black's pesky pawn had advanced and was threatening both my queen and rook. I couldn't take it with the queen, else she would have been taken by black's queen) but she said she knew nothing about chess.
Anyway the way I had started the conversation was by asking her what she did for work (she worked for a financial firm in Southampton). There was nothing romantic here that I could hook to and "build comfort" (Page 129) so I asked what did she like doing in her spare time. I've already forgotton what she said, but I do know that it was not an answer to that question!
Then she asked me what I liked to do in my spare time, and I launched into a spiel about my love for flying, being up there with the birds, a passion from my childhood. She smiled, and I think she was enjoying the conversation. Another girl behind her seemed to be showing me some signs of interest, which was nice. But I thought it best not to say hello to her at that stage.
But then the conversation went dead, and I couldn't think of what next to say. So after a few seconds of thought I said I lived in X local village near Basingstoke, but that it was rather dull. "Have you ever been to X"?
"Yes one of my friends lives there" she replied.
So far so good
But I failed to pick up on this hook, (i.e. asking about the friend, and what did she do with this friend) and instead starting talking about Basingstoke again, I think, saying (possibly fatally) that I was perhaps a bit too old for nightclubs..
The conversation petered out again, and I couldn't get it started.
When the train arrived in Basingstoke she got up and left without saying a word. I didn't chase after her, because it was dark and cold and I didn't want to worry her that I might be going to rape her.
Still it's progress, but I think she left thinking she'd had a nice conversation, rather than having had a guy try to chat her up. But I didn't get a glass of wine thrown in my face, as has happened in the past.
Walking back towards my car I passed two santa-clad girls. "Hey!" in a half-arsed way I called, but they didn't hear me. Boy they must have been cold..
Onwards and upwards...
On the train to Southampton I re-read the section about "opening". I feel that the people opposite me have noticed the title of the book, and desparately want to engage me in conversation, probably to tell me that I should ignore all this guff and just "be myself".
I carried on reading, and decided today's opener would be: "What do you think I should get my mum for christmas"
Walking up the hill from Southampton railway station to the town I approached two females with that opener. Turned out it was a mother and daughter. The mother launched into a spiele about how I should buy smellies, but on saying that she is 70 she said no.
A book about Ian Botham was her conclusion. A beefy reply..
Said "hey" to a girl walking down the hill as I walked up. She seemed to wake up slightly, and carried on walking down the hill.
Then a second girl, who didn't hear me.
Then I walked up to a 30-year old Indian lady standing alone in the middle of the shopping centre, and said "Hey" "I'm looking for a christmas present for my mother. What would you recommend?". But she replied "I'm waiting for my father, he will meet me here. Sorry".
Maybe she thought I thought she was a shop assistant..
In John Lewis again. OK I found it terrible last time, but I need to buy some christmas presents for the family.
Next to the funny necklaces section there was a quiet looking girl who looked quite nice. When I first saw her I thought she had been looking at me, but she looked away sharpishly.
I went up to talk to her, and after saying hello asked her about the presents for my mum. She recommended one of the necklaces with stones, and then I said well I'm thinking something involving cricket. She again pressed me on the stones necklaces, but by this time I was worried that I would get pressed by her to buy the stoney necklace, when I really wanted a cricket-based present like the lady earlier on had suggested. Hmmm.
I felt this girl quite liked me, but when I started banging on about getting a cricket based present she must have felt uncomfortable at my apparent initial interest in necklaces suddenly changing to cricket.
I also hesitated during a sentance - she was a hot girl, but in a geeky kind of way. Nice.
But after that hesitation I think she realised my lack of confidence, and I noticed her attitude towards me changed for the worse. I thanked her and left.
The lesson to learn here is never mix business (the buying of presents) with pleasure (trying to chat her up).
Next was waiting on the London-bound platform at Southampton, and there was a black girl standing close to the edge.
I felt her body language was not so good, but nevertheless I summoned up the courage to approach her.
"Have you finished your christmas shopping" I enquired. "Yes" she said happily.
A little flummoxed, I asked her whether she was going to London. "No, to Basingstoke" she replied. "But I have to change at Winchester because this train doesn't stop at Basingstoke"
Now this threw me, because I was also going to Basingstoke, and didn't know this. So she actually helped me out by avoiding an unnecessary trip to Woking, 25 miles to the east, together with a risk of paying an excess fare.
Cool, I replied.
"Where are you going" she asked. "I'm going to Basingstoke as well", before explaining that I had asked her whether she was going to London because that is where most people would be going, I guess.
Now I reckon she's thinking I'm a stalker, following her to Basingstoke.
I walked away after a lull in the conversation.
I followed her on to the train, sat down near her, but not next to her.
Then I followed her off the train at Winchester, and stood near her where she sat on the platform seats, and then onto the next train. I sat next to her this time, and re-introduced myself.
She looked moderately pleased to see me.
I think I reached the hook point with her, but all the conversation was initiated by me, not her. There were long periods of silence where I couldn't think of what to say, and resorted at one point to asking her whether she was any good at chess (black's pesky pawn had advanced and was threatening both my queen and rook. I couldn't take it with the queen, else she would have been taken by black's queen) but she said she knew nothing about chess.
Anyway the way I had started the conversation was by asking her what she did for work (she worked for a financial firm in Southampton). There was nothing romantic here that I could hook to and "build comfort" (Page 129) so I asked what did she like doing in her spare time. I've already forgotton what she said, but I do know that it was not an answer to that question!
Then she asked me what I liked to do in my spare time, and I launched into a spiel about my love for flying, being up there with the birds, a passion from my childhood. She smiled, and I think she was enjoying the conversation. Another girl behind her seemed to be showing me some signs of interest, which was nice. But I thought it best not to say hello to her at that stage.
But then the conversation went dead, and I couldn't think of what next to say. So after a few seconds of thought I said I lived in X local village near Basingstoke, but that it was rather dull. "Have you ever been to X"?
"Yes one of my friends lives there" she replied.
So far so good
But I failed to pick up on this hook, (i.e. asking about the friend, and what did she do with this friend) and instead starting talking about Basingstoke again, I think, saying (possibly fatally) that I was perhaps a bit too old for nightclubs..
The conversation petered out again, and I couldn't get it started.
When the train arrived in Basingstoke she got up and left without saying a word. I didn't chase after her, because it was dark and cold and I didn't want to worry her that I might be going to rape her.
Still it's progress, but I think she left thinking she'd had a nice conversation, rather than having had a guy try to chat her up. But I didn't get a glass of wine thrown in my face, as has happened in the past.
Walking back towards my car I passed two santa-clad girls. "Hey!" in a half-arsed way I called, but they didn't hear me. Boy they must have been cold..
Onwards and upwards...
Friday, 16 December 2011
Friday 16th Dec 2011
Went into the buffet on platform 4 at Reading station to get out of the cold, and saw a girl looking at the magazine rack blankly. "Are you looking for anything in particular" I asked, in a fairly loud voice. And I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't feel very self conscious about asking. She initially blanked me, but as I kept looking at her she seemed to come to life and said no nothing in particular, looking a little distressed, and without smiling. She was quite hot I thought, and maybe there was just a little something there, a slight spark.
"cold, isn't it" I suggested, and she nodded agreement, before walking off towards the fruit stand. there were not going to be any flames this night.
On the train from Reading to Bramley I purposely sat opposite to a girl wearing a walkman and looking at her phone. "Anything interesting on that" I enquired. "No" she replied, without keeping any eye contact.
I picked up a feeling that she knew I was hitting on her, and was sniggering at me in her mind at least.
"Just messages I guess" I said to her, but she didn't answer. Oh well.
Well I'm not going to get past the hook point with her, so I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that I would remain available to her for the rest of the journey. I got up and walked down to the next carriage, and sat opposite another girl jabbering into her phone.
But this conversation went on and on, and at the end of it she mentioned her boyfriend. I got up and walked to the end of the train, but there were no more women.
I spent the evening at the home of my doctor friend Brett, and after I left I thought I'd pop into town (Basingstoke) to try a little "night game".
I walked into Lloyds bar just after 11pm, and before reaching the bar I found two girls chatting. Without delay I walked up to them and said "hello ladies, how are you tonight". Silence from them. I'm Micky, who are you? <offered my hand in a handshake>.
"Anna" one of them replied. Now they did actually look as if they fancied me a little, and were perhaps impressed at my entrance. Which is GREAT. But they were clearly also bemused at me talking to them, and were quite awkward. But there was no hostility as there has been with the previous girls, which I think is a step forward.
Now the trouble was the music was quite loud, and I thought she might have said Annabelle, not Anna. Although I thought it was probably Anna. So I said "sorry did you say your name was Annabelle" hoping that she would correct me to Anna. But no she said it was Annabelle, so it was clear they were taking the micky out of my by giving false names.
Oh well at least they had been polite. I bid them a good evening, and strolled up to the bar for a diet coke.
Next I approached two older women, and said hello. Nothing; they had not heard me. So I said "Hey" in exactly the way proposed by Richard La Ruina, and this got their attention. "How are you" I said, having completely forgotton my lines. "We're both here with our husbands" they replied, but due to the music I wasn't sure that that was what they said. "Sorry" I replied, "I didn't catch that". They completely ignored me, turning their backs somewhat.
On stepping back I saw three guys who were presumably their husbands looking at me in a slightly curious and menacing way.
So I retreated to the bar again.
For the next 10 minutes I surveyed the scene. Although I saw a number of groups of girls I couldn't remember who those were that I had already chatted to. I didn't want to risk chatting to them else if it was the same ones they might get annoyed that I was harrassing them.
I felt that the bouncers were looking at me. But they weren't, in all likelyhood. I sat down to finish the diet coke, and battle my phone at chess, before going home. Although I could have stayed or gone to another pub to chat some more, I was getting a tense feeling in my stomach that indicated that I had been stressed out by the two encounters.
So I managed a final "hello ladies" to two older girls walking along the street in the opposite direction (they cheerfully said hello in reply) and then I went home.
In summary I think I have started to improve. But a long long way to go.
Tomorrow I'll go shopping, and hopefully do better than I did before in finding young women. Maybe I'll get past the hook point this time.
I have to say it does feel very unnatural to go up to women in this way, and is indeed bordering on the weird and rude. But it has to be worth a try because I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
To be denounced as weird only has validity if you have had the same kinds of advantages that others have had in regard to getting girlfriends- long friendships and family ties. But from my background I have not had that, so my view is that I can afford to be a bit militant about it. If "they" don't like me going up to girls I don't know, the screw them. I don't owe them anything, and I won't do anything for them.
"cold, isn't it" I suggested, and she nodded agreement, before walking off towards the fruit stand. there were not going to be any flames this night.
On the train from Reading to Bramley I purposely sat opposite to a girl wearing a walkman and looking at her phone. "Anything interesting on that" I enquired. "No" she replied, without keeping any eye contact.
I picked up a feeling that she knew I was hitting on her, and was sniggering at me in her mind at least.
"Just messages I guess" I said to her, but she didn't answer. Oh well.
Well I'm not going to get past the hook point with her, so I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that I would remain available to her for the rest of the journey. I got up and walked down to the next carriage, and sat opposite another girl jabbering into her phone.
But this conversation went on and on, and at the end of it she mentioned her boyfriend. I got up and walked to the end of the train, but there were no more women.
I spent the evening at the home of my doctor friend Brett, and after I left I thought I'd pop into town (Basingstoke) to try a little "night game".
I walked into Lloyds bar just after 11pm, and before reaching the bar I found two girls chatting. Without delay I walked up to them and said "hello ladies, how are you tonight". Silence from them. I'm Micky, who are you? <offered my hand in a handshake>.
"Anna" one of them replied. Now they did actually look as if they fancied me a little, and were perhaps impressed at my entrance. Which is GREAT. But they were clearly also bemused at me talking to them, and were quite awkward. But there was no hostility as there has been with the previous girls, which I think is a step forward.
Now the trouble was the music was quite loud, and I thought she might have said Annabelle, not Anna. Although I thought it was probably Anna. So I said "sorry did you say your name was Annabelle" hoping that she would correct me to Anna. But no she said it was Annabelle, so it was clear they were taking the micky out of my by giving false names.
Oh well at least they had been polite. I bid them a good evening, and strolled up to the bar for a diet coke.
Next I approached two older women, and said hello. Nothing; they had not heard me. So I said "Hey" in exactly the way proposed by Richard La Ruina, and this got their attention. "How are you" I said, having completely forgotton my lines. "We're both here with our husbands" they replied, but due to the music I wasn't sure that that was what they said. "Sorry" I replied, "I didn't catch that". They completely ignored me, turning their backs somewhat.
On stepping back I saw three guys who were presumably their husbands looking at me in a slightly curious and menacing way.
So I retreated to the bar again.
For the next 10 minutes I surveyed the scene. Although I saw a number of groups of girls I couldn't remember who those were that I had already chatted to. I didn't want to risk chatting to them else if it was the same ones they might get annoyed that I was harrassing them.
I felt that the bouncers were looking at me. But they weren't, in all likelyhood. I sat down to finish the diet coke, and battle my phone at chess, before going home. Although I could have stayed or gone to another pub to chat some more, I was getting a tense feeling in my stomach that indicated that I had been stressed out by the two encounters.
So I managed a final "hello ladies" to two older girls walking along the street in the opposite direction (they cheerfully said hello in reply) and then I went home.
In summary I think I have started to improve. But a long long way to go.
Tomorrow I'll go shopping, and hopefully do better than I did before in finding young women. Maybe I'll get past the hook point this time.
I have to say it does feel very unnatural to go up to women in this way, and is indeed bordering on the weird and rude. But it has to be worth a try because I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
To be denounced as weird only has validity if you have had the same kinds of advantages that others have had in regard to getting girlfriends- long friendships and family ties. But from my background I have not had that, so my view is that I can afford to be a bit militant about it. If "they" don't like me going up to girls I don't know, the screw them. I don't owe them anything, and I won't do anything for them.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Saturday afternoon
Today I was in Reading in Berkshire on my way to London where I am working at the moment. Looking for some "day game".
John Lewis
**********
I started off in John Lewis department store. Formerly known as "Heelases" it is a fairly stuffy place, and I was not surprised to find the only single women in there were the staff serving. While I don't in principle have a problem trying to chat up shop staff I am unsure how much of a guide they will be in terms of learning. After all they are paid to be nice to people, so I won't know whether I am succeeding...
It was all older people and snobby couples in there, so I left.
The Oracle shopping centre
**************************
I sat down in a cafe there, next to a mean looking woman who was on her own and looked as if she could kill me with one bite.
I didn't dare approach.
Around 5 yards was a girl of around 16. Legal in the United Kingdom (just) but of course I didn't know for sure what her age was. Carrying a load of shopping.
I don't know how to approach her - I can't just shout across the floor can I? And what do I say? (presumably some joke about the large volume of shopping).
Then she starts chatting to the cleaning lady. How did that happen?
Her mother arrived, and they both left.
And as I type the dragon woman has gone too...
On the train to London
**********************
Was standing in the interconnect between two carriages as there were no free seats. Playing chess on my mobile phone. A 30-something spanish girl was there with a large suitcase, and I said "Are you leaving us"? She smiled and said yes she was going back to Spain.
I asked her more about what she was doing in Spain, and she said that she was going back to see family, but that she worked as a spanish teacher in Somerset. I think I got to the hook point with her because I introduced myself as Micky, and she reciprocated with her name, and asked some questions of me.
She said she was from a town to the North-West of Spain, and I asked whether it was anywhere near the port town of Bilbao. She said it was further west. So if Bilbao is black's queen, then your town would be the bishop, I said, referring to the game of chess I was working on.
I asked her what her interests were, and she replied going back to spain, but that she worked as a spanish teacher in the UK. Hardly an answer to my question, but never mind. I started coming out with some guff about it must be a really enriching and enhancing experience to be able to impart the gift of foreign language speech to others (page 116), and I think she responded slightly positively to this. But I detected a little hostility, but I can't place why. Maybe she was married? (she had that "feel" about her).
In any case I gave her my business card and suggested that it might be nice to meet up for a drink at some point when she returned from Spain. But she replied that she didn't have time at the moment as she was going straight to Stansted airport.
I detected more hostility, so decided that she had become a little flustered, and I left.
Looking at page 157 I can see what I did wrong here; I tried to ask for a date in a way that did not flow naturally from the previous conversation.
But I don't think there is much I could have done here, because she didn't seem too interested, and the train was rapidly approaching Paddington, and I had some stuff on the shelf in the next carriage I needed to rescue.
In conclusion today has not been a "disaster" in that I got a conversation with a woman on the train. But cruising the shopping centres on a Saturday afternoon is rubbish because there are no single girls there; it's all families and couples.
John Lewis
**********
I started off in John Lewis department store. Formerly known as "Heelases" it is a fairly stuffy place, and I was not surprised to find the only single women in there were the staff serving. While I don't in principle have a problem trying to chat up shop staff I am unsure how much of a guide they will be in terms of learning. After all they are paid to be nice to people, so I won't know whether I am succeeding...
It was all older people and snobby couples in there, so I left.
The Oracle shopping centre
**************************
I sat down in a cafe there, next to a mean looking woman who was on her own and looked as if she could kill me with one bite.
I didn't dare approach.
Around 5 yards was a girl of around 16. Legal in the United Kingdom (just) but of course I didn't know for sure what her age was. Carrying a load of shopping.
I don't know how to approach her - I can't just shout across the floor can I? And what do I say? (presumably some joke about the large volume of shopping).
Then she starts chatting to the cleaning lady. How did that happen?
Her mother arrived, and they both left.
And as I type the dragon woman has gone too...
On the train to London
**********************
Was standing in the interconnect between two carriages as there were no free seats. Playing chess on my mobile phone. A 30-something spanish girl was there with a large suitcase, and I said "Are you leaving us"? She smiled and said yes she was going back to Spain.
I asked her more about what she was doing in Spain, and she said that she was going back to see family, but that she worked as a spanish teacher in Somerset. I think I got to the hook point with her because I introduced myself as Micky, and she reciprocated with her name, and asked some questions of me.
She said she was from a town to the North-West of Spain, and I asked whether it was anywhere near the port town of Bilbao. She said it was further west. So if Bilbao is black's queen, then your town would be the bishop, I said, referring to the game of chess I was working on.
I asked her what her interests were, and she replied going back to spain, but that she worked as a spanish teacher in the UK. Hardly an answer to my question, but never mind. I started coming out with some guff about it must be a really enriching and enhancing experience to be able to impart the gift of foreign language speech to others (page 116), and I think she responded slightly positively to this. But I detected a little hostility, but I can't place why. Maybe she was married? (she had that "feel" about her).
In any case I gave her my business card and suggested that it might be nice to meet up for a drink at some point when she returned from Spain. But she replied that she didn't have time at the moment as she was going straight to Stansted airport.
I detected more hostility, so decided that she had become a little flustered, and I left.
Looking at page 157 I can see what I did wrong here; I tried to ask for a date in a way that did not flow naturally from the previous conversation.
But I don't think there is much I could have done here, because she didn't seem too interested, and the train was rapidly approaching Paddington, and I had some stuff on the shelf in the next carriage I needed to rescue.
In conclusion today has not been a "disaster" in that I got a conversation with a woman on the train. But cruising the shopping centres on a Saturday afternoon is rubbish because there are no single girls there; it's all families and couples.
Getting started again with the ladies
I'm a professional British guy, with blue eyes and a bit of a geeky manner. Very inexperienced with women, and indeed have come to terms that I am unlikely ever to find a girlfriend.
Up to now I have been of the opinion that in matters of being able to attract a girl, because this is so central to that which defines the masculinity of a man, and because of its direct relevance to evolution and the ability of the man to reproduce, that it must be the case that this ability must stem from his whole success on this earth.
In other words that no techniques must be capable of changing a woman's desire for him, otherwise it would allow a man to choose his biological destiny on a logical basis, which negates this as being determined by innate fitness.
The Natural art of seduction
****************************
I came across this book, and although I initially dismissed it as a lame attempt to part a lonely bloke with his money (as I suspect are many of these kinds of books linked from adult sites, as I know this one is), after reading some pages I was interested in what it had to say.
So I thought I'd read the book, and give it a try. Let's face it I have nothing to lose, and even if all my attempts fall flat and fail, I cannot find myself being disappointed.
Saturday 10th December 2011
***************************
I've read half the book. It is quite addictive, and there have been several "oh yeah" moments, along with some "of course that makes complete sense" bits.
So I think it's time to try out the first lessons in the nightclubs of Basingstoke, the town where I live in the UK.
Bar Rock
********
First me and my two male friends went into Bar Rock, a nightclub mainly for older people at the top of town.
Rather than standing alongside my friends as I usually do in there, all facing the dance floor, I took the author's advice (page 32-33) to stand opposite my friends, rather than side my side watching the dance floor. As they were watching the dance floor I therefore had my back to the dance floor, with a great view of the entrance to the toilets, but not a lot of women.
Feet wide apart. Hands held at belt level ready for a bit of "kino" action should I get the chance to talk to a girl.
After 15 minutes a girl came within 3 feet of me, behind me, and stopped. I turned round and said "Hey" (page 85 of the book). But I don't think she heard me.
Still it's a start.
Then we moved to a different part of the bar, and again I took my place opposite my friends. In the middle of a pathway from the entrance to the back of the bar. Still my confidence meant that people walked around me instead of trying to push past me, so that was good. I had expected to be chastised for blocking the path a little.
Saw some girls in front of me in a "private party" section, but didn't have the bottle to approach.
I'm sure the bouncers are starting to look at me suspiciously now, for standing with my feet too far apart, and blocking the way.
Pure
****
Next we walked down Wote Street and went into a new bar called "Pure".
Here it was quite crowded and we stood a meter back from the edge of the dance floor with me facing out as before.
Although I retained my legs apart pose this time I did find myself constantly jostled and pushed from all directions. By blokes AND women!
The music was louder and it just was not possible to talk to my friends, so I felt a lack of connection with them. I was unable to "enjoy my friends" as the book recommends (also page 32), so that was a negative.
Basically I don't like nightclubs, and now that I don't drink alcohol I just am not happy with that kind of environment. And I guess it must have showed.
Looking around me there were lots of groups of women having a good time. They were mostly high energy, dancing or bopping to the music or chatting ferociously, so it was not going to be easy for me to break into the group at a higher energy level than them (page 56). I looked round at one girl and thought she kept eye contact on me a little longer than normal and said "Hey" to her. But she blanked me, and I'm not sure whether she had heard me. Then there was another girl over Kevin's shoulder (he's one of the two friends), and I could have sworn that she was staring at me. So I lifted up my drink and said cheers to her (page ??) but she didn't seem to reciprocate and was perhaps in a trance. I'm not sure.
In any case she moved away shortly thereafter, and a minute later a man greeted her - it was her boyfriend.
The basic problem is that all the girls are having intensive fun and are ostensibly not interested in anyone else outside of their own groups unless they are people who are already loosely attached to their groups. i.e. their friends. To everyone else they show no signs of interest or rejection at all; you are treated no differently to a concrete post or a postbox.
And then it happened. A girl dancing right next to me started giving me a direct stare, so I said "Hey". No reply - just more dancing. But the next thing I knew she had turned around, backed up right close to me, and started wiggling her bum in my crotch. Advanced keno action initiated by the girl!
But hang on a minute this doesn't make sense; I haven't reached the "hook point" with her (page 127). And as for how to respond to the keno bum wiggling - I haven't got to that section in the book yet!
She then asked me whether I would like to drink from the straw of a bottle of beer - perched in the bra of her friend (between her tits). Chav-tastic!
Only in Basingstoke could this ever be possible...
But I had to leave the club in any case, as my friend needed his girlfriend driving home (no not THAT sort of driving) so I never knew what might have resulted from this.
In conclusion an interesting start all round.
But I don't want to start to think about whether I "did well" or not. But the thing I like about Richard La Ruina's technical approach to attracting girls is that I will no longer lament, after a failed evening, that I'm "a failure with women" rather that I failed at a particular stage in a defined process. Perhaps with the problem nailed down to a semi-specific issue, it might be possible to reach a solution, and move forward to a next stage.
There's only one way to find out...
Up to now I have been of the opinion that in matters of being able to attract a girl, because this is so central to that which defines the masculinity of a man, and because of its direct relevance to evolution and the ability of the man to reproduce, that it must be the case that this ability must stem from his whole success on this earth.
In other words that no techniques must be capable of changing a woman's desire for him, otherwise it would allow a man to choose his biological destiny on a logical basis, which negates this as being determined by innate fitness.
The Natural art of seduction
****************************
I came across this book, and although I initially dismissed it as a lame attempt to part a lonely bloke with his money (as I suspect are many of these kinds of books linked from adult sites, as I know this one is), after reading some pages I was interested in what it had to say.
So I thought I'd read the book, and give it a try. Let's face it I have nothing to lose, and even if all my attempts fall flat and fail, I cannot find myself being disappointed.
Saturday 10th December 2011
***************************
I've read half the book. It is quite addictive, and there have been several "oh yeah" moments, along with some "of course that makes complete sense" bits.
So I think it's time to try out the first lessons in the nightclubs of Basingstoke, the town where I live in the UK.
Bar Rock
********
First me and my two male friends went into Bar Rock, a nightclub mainly for older people at the top of town.
Rather than standing alongside my friends as I usually do in there, all facing the dance floor, I took the author's advice (page 32-33) to stand opposite my friends, rather than side my side watching the dance floor. As they were watching the dance floor I therefore had my back to the dance floor, with a great view of the entrance to the toilets, but not a lot of women.
Feet wide apart. Hands held at belt level ready for a bit of "kino" action should I get the chance to talk to a girl.
After 15 minutes a girl came within 3 feet of me, behind me, and stopped. I turned round and said "Hey" (page 85 of the book). But I don't think she heard me.
Still it's a start.
Then we moved to a different part of the bar, and again I took my place opposite my friends. In the middle of a pathway from the entrance to the back of the bar. Still my confidence meant that people walked around me instead of trying to push past me, so that was good. I had expected to be chastised for blocking the path a little.
Saw some girls in front of me in a "private party" section, but didn't have the bottle to approach.
I'm sure the bouncers are starting to look at me suspiciously now, for standing with my feet too far apart, and blocking the way.
Pure
****
Next we walked down Wote Street and went into a new bar called "Pure".
Here it was quite crowded and we stood a meter back from the edge of the dance floor with me facing out as before.
Although I retained my legs apart pose this time I did find myself constantly jostled and pushed from all directions. By blokes AND women!
The music was louder and it just was not possible to talk to my friends, so I felt a lack of connection with them. I was unable to "enjoy my friends" as the book recommends (also page 32), so that was a negative.
Basically I don't like nightclubs, and now that I don't drink alcohol I just am not happy with that kind of environment. And I guess it must have showed.
Looking around me there were lots of groups of women having a good time. They were mostly high energy, dancing or bopping to the music or chatting ferociously, so it was not going to be easy for me to break into the group at a higher energy level than them (page 56). I looked round at one girl and thought she kept eye contact on me a little longer than normal and said "Hey" to her. But she blanked me, and I'm not sure whether she had heard me. Then there was another girl over Kevin's shoulder (he's one of the two friends), and I could have sworn that she was staring at me. So I lifted up my drink and said cheers to her (page ??) but she didn't seem to reciprocate and was perhaps in a trance. I'm not sure.
In any case she moved away shortly thereafter, and a minute later a man greeted her - it was her boyfriend.
The basic problem is that all the girls are having intensive fun and are ostensibly not interested in anyone else outside of their own groups unless they are people who are already loosely attached to their groups. i.e. their friends. To everyone else they show no signs of interest or rejection at all; you are treated no differently to a concrete post or a postbox.
And then it happened. A girl dancing right next to me started giving me a direct stare, so I said "Hey". No reply - just more dancing. But the next thing I knew she had turned around, backed up right close to me, and started wiggling her bum in my crotch. Advanced keno action initiated by the girl!
But hang on a minute this doesn't make sense; I haven't reached the "hook point" with her (page 127). And as for how to respond to the keno bum wiggling - I haven't got to that section in the book yet!
She then asked me whether I would like to drink from the straw of a bottle of beer - perched in the bra of her friend (between her tits). Chav-tastic!
Only in Basingstoke could this ever be possible...
But I had to leave the club in any case, as my friend needed his girlfriend driving home (no not THAT sort of driving) so I never knew what might have resulted from this.
In conclusion an interesting start all round.
But I don't want to start to think about whether I "did well" or not. But the thing I like about Richard La Ruina's technical approach to attracting girls is that I will no longer lament, after a failed evening, that I'm "a failure with women" rather that I failed at a particular stage in a defined process. Perhaps with the problem nailed down to a semi-specific issue, it might be possible to reach a solution, and move forward to a next stage.
There's only one way to find out...
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