Walking towards Basingstoke station, I said "hey" to a girl. I think she heard it, but didn't reply.
On the train to Southampton I re-read the section about "opening". I feel that the people opposite me have noticed the title of the book, and desparately want to engage me in conversation, probably to tell me that I should ignore all this guff and just "be myself".
I carried on reading, and decided today's opener would be: "What do you think I should get my mum for christmas"
Walking up the hill from Southampton railway station to the town I approached two females with that opener. Turned out it was a mother and daughter. The mother launched into a spiele about how I should buy smellies, but on saying that she is 70 she said no.
A book about Ian Botham was her conclusion. A beefy reply..
Said "hey" to a girl walking down the hill as I walked up. She seemed to wake up slightly, and carried on walking down the hill.
Then a second girl, who didn't hear me.
Then I walked up to a 30-year old Indian lady standing alone in the middle of the shopping centre, and said "Hey" "I'm looking for a christmas present for my mother. What would you recommend?". But she replied "I'm waiting for my father, he will meet me here. Sorry".
Maybe she thought I thought she was a shop assistant..
In John Lewis again. OK I found it terrible last time, but I need to buy some christmas presents for the family.
Next to the funny necklaces section there was a quiet looking girl who looked quite nice. When I first saw her I thought she had been looking at me, but she looked away sharpishly.
I went up to talk to her, and after saying hello asked her about the presents for my mum. She recommended one of the necklaces with stones, and then I said well I'm thinking something involving cricket. She again pressed me on the stones necklaces, but by this time I was worried that I would get pressed by her to buy the stoney necklace, when I really wanted a cricket-based present like the lady earlier on had suggested. Hmmm.
I felt this girl quite liked me, but when I started banging on about getting a cricket based present she must have felt uncomfortable at my apparent initial interest in necklaces suddenly changing to cricket.
I also hesitated during a sentance - she was a hot girl, but in a geeky kind of way. Nice.
But after that hesitation I think she realised my lack of confidence, and I noticed her attitude towards me changed for the worse. I thanked her and left.
The lesson to learn here is never mix business (the buying of presents) with pleasure (trying to chat her up).
Next was waiting on the London-bound platform at Southampton, and there was a black girl standing close to the edge.
I felt her body language was not so good, but nevertheless I summoned up the courage to approach her.
"Have you finished your christmas shopping" I enquired. "Yes" she said happily.
A little flummoxed, I asked her whether she was going to London. "No, to Basingstoke" she replied. "But I have to change at Winchester because this train doesn't stop at Basingstoke"
Now this threw me, because I was also going to Basingstoke, and didn't know this. So she actually helped me out by avoiding an unnecessary trip to Woking, 25 miles to the east, together with a risk of paying an excess fare.
Cool, I replied.
"Where are you going" she asked. "I'm going to Basingstoke as well", before explaining that I had asked her whether she was going to London because that is where most people would be going, I guess.
Now I reckon she's thinking I'm a stalker, following her to Basingstoke.
I walked away after a lull in the conversation.
I followed her on to the train, sat down near her, but not next to her.
Then I followed her off the train at Winchester, and stood near her where she sat on the platform seats, and then onto the next train. I sat next to her this time, and re-introduced myself.
She looked moderately pleased to see me.
I think I reached the hook point with her, but all the conversation was initiated by me, not her. There were long periods of silence where I couldn't think of what to say, and resorted at one point to asking her whether she was any good at chess (black's pesky pawn had advanced and was threatening both my queen and rook. I couldn't take it with the queen, else she would have been taken by black's queen) but she said she knew nothing about chess.
Anyway the way I had started the conversation was by asking her what she did for work (she worked for a financial firm in Southampton). There was nothing romantic here that I could hook to and "build comfort" (Page 129) so I asked what did she like doing in her spare time. I've already forgotton what she said, but I do know that it was not an answer to that question!
Then she asked me what I liked to do in my spare time, and I launched into a spiel about my love for flying, being up there with the birds, a passion from my childhood. She smiled, and I think she was enjoying the conversation. Another girl behind her seemed to be showing me some signs of interest, which was nice. But I thought it best not to say hello to her at that stage.
But then the conversation went dead, and I couldn't think of what next to say. So after a few seconds of thought I said I lived in X local village near Basingstoke, but that it was rather dull. "Have you ever been to X"?
"Yes one of my friends lives there" she replied.
So far so good
But I failed to pick up on this hook, (i.e. asking about the friend, and what did she do with this friend) and instead starting talking about Basingstoke again, I think, saying (possibly fatally) that I was perhaps a bit too old for nightclubs..
The conversation petered out again, and I couldn't get it started.
When the train arrived in Basingstoke she got up and left without saying a word. I didn't chase after her, because it was dark and cold and I didn't want to worry her that I might be going to rape her.
Still it's progress, but I think she left thinking she'd had a nice conversation, rather than having had a guy try to chat her up. But I didn't get a glass of wine thrown in my face, as has happened in the past.
Walking back towards my car I passed two santa-clad girls. "Hey!" in a half-arsed way I called, but they didn't hear me. Boy they must have been cold..
Onwards and upwards...
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