Monday, 16 January 2012

The luck of the Irish?

Well I got a reply to my email I sent to the girl on the underground at Waterloo. As I didn't think I had much of a chance with her I had emailed her the link to my blog, for a laugh.

Her reply read:


    "Hey GeekyMicky,

    Thanks for the email.

    Very funny post about our meeting at the weekend.
    You were extremely complimentary! Thanks : )

    Unfortunately, I am very happy with my new relationship
    and did not intend to convey any hesitation!!

    I do wish you all the luck in your quest in finding
    a girlfriend. I am sure it wont take you very long!

    Take care,
    Classy black doctor babe"


Liar Liar!! I think she did hesitate too.
And where she says "unfortunately" when talking about her new relationship, I think this is a freudian slip, and she thinks that the new relationship is "unfortunate". Am I right, or am I right?

OK I'm probably wrong..


Anyway moving on, and my friend Elvis-Clarkson has posted a link to this blog on my youtube flying video from 2008. Entitled "seconds from death" it was, well, probably quite accurate.

Here's the link back to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4Y_3l-Phg

I don't know how he thinks this video might help me pull women, but I suppose they might die of laughter and then I can enjoy some necrophilia with them.
But besides that hang gliding is fun. I love being able to fly around to survey the countryside, the fields, the wildlife; and you can land anywhere you like. This comes in especially handy when you fly over a sheep who looks lonely. And frisky...



Saturday 14th January - Reading night game
******************************************
I had been planning to go to Oxford today for some day game, but I fell asleep after lunch, so there wasn't enough time.
Looks like it'll be a spot of night game instead. In Reading.

It wasn't pretty.

First I arrived next to the canal outside the Oracle centre to find that all the pubs there had turned into restaurants, and therefore of limited use for gaming.
I went into one of them to ask where I could find the pubs.
And it was fortunate that the first people I came across was a group of young women. Who unfortunately took my question and threw it into the trash can. They claimed, with not a little hint of insenserity, that they were not from round here.
"Where are you from?" I asked.
"Taunton".
"Ooh Aarh cider drinkeers you mars't beeae" I replied, but they blanked me completely.

Onwards to another area of town and into the "slug and lettuce" bar.
Oh dear.
Went straight up to three girls sat at a table:
"Hi, I was trying to think of something to say to start a conversation with you, but I can't think of anything to say. Can you think of something?"
A few mumbled words of reply, then nothing.
"I'm GeekyMicky" I offered, with an outstretched hand, "and you are?"
Nothing.

So I decided to sit down at the table so that I was not towering over them (page 43 of the book). At which point all three slowly turned around and engaged in conversation with another group of people at the next table, completely ignoring me.

I took the hint.

Onto the third "set" of girls standing by the bar. "Hi".
"We've just found a table" they replied, before walking off towards it directly behind me.

This is hard work!

I left the Slug and Lettuce. Clearly nobody there wanted to f*** l*** r*****s

Into another pub, and the most comical rejection of the night.
After standing next to a wall for a few minutes I walked up to a table of three girls, and put my drink down on the table while I started to engage them.
As soon as I opened my mouth the girl on the left, a feisty little number, stood up, picked the glass up, and put it onto another table nearby that was unoccupied.

The bloody cheek!

I moved it back. Whereupon she proceeded to grab the fourth chair from their table and moved it to the other table, moving the drink there again. "Sit there!" she said.

That was humiliating. Everyone in the bar must have been looking at me sat alone on that chair.
Still I took my punishment like a man, and stayed there until I finished my drink. Bloody women!


Enough of that. I'm off to one last bar to see whether anything can be salvaged from the evening.

It was O'Neill's bar, an irish pub. There were three middle aged ladies there, and they loved me!
After having done the same opener "I want to talk to you, but I can't think of what to say" the conversation fizzled out, and I walked off.
But when I walked past them 2 minutes later, they called me over. "You're not leaving us already are you?"
"er, No. No I don't have to" I replied.
"So what's your name" they asked, and the conversation continued interview style, except that it was they who were asking the questions, not me.
It was obvious that all three of them fancied the pants off me. And to be fair two of the three were not bad looking at all. (MILF material yes but nothing wrong with that. My welsh friend Matthew would love them). They were cougars!

Well past the hook point, so the next task is to isolate the girl I wanted to pull (page 140), who was the second one, miss scrubber. (the other two were miss piggy and miss mysterious).
But the trouble was I couldn't do it. Much as I tried to have the conversation with my newly beloved, miss piggy kept butting in!
So I switched allegiances, and started aiming for miss piggy. But the charms of miss mysterious were simply too powerful to ignore, and eventually I found myself trying to chat all three of them up at once.

Not a productive move.

Although it might have seemed on the surface to be going very well, I knew that I was failing to follow the script. Well unless I had a realistic expectation of achieving a foursome with them all (which had crossed my mind, of course), but I'm sure that's an advanced skill I can't hope to achieve yet!

What I should have done at this point is just gone for it with one of the girls, and say come back to my hotel room (which would have required some logistics considering I hadn't booked one yet), but for some reason I got hung up on trying to arrange to drive them home, delivering the last one to her bedroom door, not just her front door.

SO I decided to try to number close them. Which failed ("no we'll call you Geeky"), so I gave them each a business card.

OK well this wasn't happening, but I can before I go try out a little saucy banter to try my luck (I wouldn't recommend doing this as a day game opener):

"Have you girls ever had a threesome" - to much tittering.
"Group hug" whereupon I got my arms around all three. But it felt more like a rugby tackle than anything remotely erotic.
"I'm going to be your girlfriend tonight" to number 2. Yeah baby!, and
"We've got married, and this is our wedding night" - more tittering.

They were sad to see me go, but I've got a hunch at least one of them will email me.

Who knows...


p.s. Had to relay to you a great story from Sunday morning. I was having my usual cup of earl grey with a greasy chocolate tiffin with my doctor friend Brett in the hospital Costa cafe, when one of the other customers, a very sexy 21-year old blond babe, fainted in the table right next to us.
Whether this resulted from the realisation that Costa coffee tastes even worse that that NHS muck they serve from those oversized tin cylinders when they don't need them any more at Sellafield for carrying low-level radioactive coolant fluid, or from Brett's obvious manly charms, I don't know.

Did you read that last sentance in one breath? Just checking :-)

But clean out she went. Wow what a lovely pair of jugs!
So Brett, wearing his Orange jump suit with badge saying "DOCTOR", could never miss a chance like that; he was over her like a python coiling up for its first meal.
She soon came round (which was a shame since I was enjoying ogling her naughty bits), and within minutes was as right as rain. All it was was that she had had a bit of a panic attack after breaking up with her boyfriend, and had forgotton to eat anything for breakfast.

The sly old dog, she said he was her "hero" and she invited him round to her flat for a late night "date". Before he declined her kind offer, saying he was very happy with his girlfriend Lady Penelope.

I don't know how he does it. Bastard!

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